Self-harm behaviors can be painful to witness and difficult to understand. Why do teens self-harm? It’s generally because they’re in emotional pain—teens use self-harm as a coping mechanism for overwhelming feelings.
If your teen has turned to self-harm as a way to cope with their pain, we’re here to offer hope and healing. Your thoughtful concern is the first step toward understanding and providing your teen with the help they need.
Understanding Self-Harm
When teens harm themselves, it’s referred to as self-harm. In teens, the most common self-harm behaviors are cutting, hitting, and burning. Nonlethal overdoses of substances like drugs or alcohol are also considered self-harm.
If a teen you know has experienced this, they’re not alone. Around 19% of adolescents worldwide have engaged in self-harm behavior. In fact, people aged 10 to 18 are the most likely out of all age groups to self-harm. Self-harm is often more common among girls, members of the LGBTQ+ community, and black, Indigenous, and other people of color (BIPOC).
Self-harm does not necessarily indicate suicidal ideation.
When communicating with a teen about self-harm behaviors, don’t assume suicide is their intent. Listen to and validate their feelings as you provide them with resources for help.
Reasons for Self-Harm
Why do teens self-harm? There is no universal answer. Each teen—and their mental health—is unique. In general, however, teens use self-harm as a coping strategy when they feel like they can’t find an alternative outlet that provides relief from psychological pain.
Common reasons for self-harm behavior include:
- Emotional regulation. When the brain recognizes pain, it releases endorphins to help relieve it. These chemical messengers can also act as a temporary relief to emotional pain. Additionally, physical pain can serve as a distraction from overwhelming emotional pain.
- Expression of pain. When teens don’t know how to express their emotional pain verbally or through other outlets—or don’t feel safe doing so—they may turn to harm as an expression of their inner turmoil. They may find relief in mirroring their internal pain with an outward expression.
- Control. People often seek a sense of control in times of distress or chaos. When teens don’t have control over other facets of their lives, self-harm may provide a sense of bodily autonomy that makes them feel in charge.
- Punishment. Feelings of shame or guilt may lead to a desire for self-punishment. Some teens may turn to self-harm to punish themselves for perceived wrongdoings or shortcomings.
Know that teens don’t turn to self-harm for attention. It’s a behavior that communicates a deeper issue.
Psychological and Environmental Factors
Emotional dysregulation and self-harm are intimately connected. A wide range of stressors and mental health struggles can drive a teen to harmful behaviors.
Teens may turn to self-harm as a coping strategy for:
- Mental health disorders. Teens often turn to self-harm as a maladaptive coping strategy when they have an underlying disorder. Conditions like anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder can create emotional dysregulation and stress that may lead a teen to engage in self-harm.
- Trauma and abuse. Other sources of distress, such as trauma and abuse, may also lead a teen to self-harm. Whether they have PTSD from past trauma or ongoing stress from an abusive situation, self-harm may be the outlet for their pain.
- Family dynamics. Even if they don’t constitute abuse, stressful family dynamics or environments may also trigger harmful behaviors from a teen.
- Other stressors. A variety of other stressors in a teen’s life, including bullying, peer pressure, social isolation, or struggles at school, can negatively impact their mental health and contribute to the desire to self-harm.
While teens don’t generally turn to self-harm without some underlying struggle, some teens in distress may also experience peer influence—such as knowing other teens who self-harm—that may encourage them to engage in this behavior.
Addressing Self-Harm
Even though self-harm comes from deeper issues, you have many tools at your disposal to support a teen experiencing it. Your readiness to listen and help lays an essential bedrock of security.
Offer your teen an environment with:
- Open communication. Create a safe environment for your teen to discuss their feelings. This allows them to ask for help when they need it and fosters healthier emotional outlets.
- Coping strategies. Self-harm is often used as a coping strategy when a teen doesn’t know what else to do. Offer them alternative healthy coping strategies and help them practice emotional regulation techniques.
- Support networks. Disordered behavior often comes in part from a lack of belonging or social connection. Friends, family, and community support can help fill these gaps for a teen and give them people to lean on in times of need.
- Professional support. You don’t have to support your teen alone. Therapy and other professional interventions can give both you and your teen the tools you need to overcome underlying mental health struggles and change harmful behaviors.
Don’t neglect your own self-care during this time. Witnessing self-harm can cause distress or trigger your own traumatic memories, even if you don’t realize it at first. Seek help and support when you need it.
Remember, healing often happens gradually—or with ups and downs along the way—and that’s perfectly normal.
Seeking Help for Self-Harm
Self-harm and mental health are closely related. If your teen is struggling with self-harm, they likely have underlying mental health concerns. The best way to support them is to nurture their overall psychological well-being. Comprehensive assessment and holistic treatment can go a long way toward achieving this goal.
Learn more with our resources for teen mental health. Healing is within reach. Contact Muir Wood today.