Behavior contracts are common in adolescent treatment. They list rules and consequences for breaking them. At Muir Wood, we use something different: a Family Agreement. The distinction reflects a fundamentally different philosophy about how families work best.
The Problem With Behavior Contracts
Behavior contracts position the parent as authority and the teen as subject. A teen who signs under duress has little genuine investment. When the contract is violated—and it will be—the family is back where they started, with an additional layer of broken trust.
What a Family Agreement Is
A Family Agreement is collaborative, relationship-based, and developed during treatment by the teen, parents, and therapist together. It includes:
- A shared commitment to respectful interaction — the “basic family rule”: respect of people, animals, and property with words, tone, and body language.
- A choices-and-results framework — expectations framed as choices and their natural results, not behaviors and punishments.
- Agreements developed together — both teen and parents contribute, creating shared ownership.
The Family Agreement goes home at discharge as a living document—something to return to, revisit, and update as the family grows.
Why This Works Better
The Family Agreement works because it aligns with how people actually change: through connection, ownership, and practice—not compliance and fear. When a teen participates in creating the agreement, they’re more likely to honor it. When parents are allies rather than enforcers, the dynamic shifts.
Learn more on our family programming page.
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